Writing your book, starting your podcast, creating a side hustle, applying for the dream job… what is the dreamy goal that you have your sights set on for this next chapter of your life? You have to know… your dreams and goals are there for a reason. And while the new year provides the perfect time for setting goals, there’s never a bad time to set a new goal for yourself.
A Note On Language
There’s an important stone we need to uncover before going any further, and that is the language you use when speaking with yourself. Pick a term that inspires you to work towards your desire rather than making you feel defeated.
For example, I stopped setting “New Year’s Resolutions” and instead set intentions and goals for myself. For me, “resolution” had such a negative context; in my experience and those I observed in others, it felt like resolutions were something you set without much of a plan as to how you’d actually make it happen, then feel you’ve failed after missing just one day and thereby letting it go altogether.
How you speak to yourself when you set and strive for a resolution is very different than when you gently set an ‘intention.’ A ‘resolution’ is definitive and doesn’t allow for you to stretch, revise, grow and maybe even occasionally slip up! On the other hand, an intention sets the tone that you have a guidepost to work towards while allowing for growth, wiggle room and grace.
So you pick whatever term will inspire you most! “Resolution”, “Intention,” or “Goal” – you know what will most inspire and propel you forward.
Step 1: Revisit Your Values
What is personally and uniquely important to you? Psychologists Barb Markway and Celia Ampel define values as “the principles that give our lives meaning and allow us to persevere through adversity.”
Our core values first form at a young age, deeply under the influences of others, like our parents, teachers, community leaders and government. We’re typically unaware of what our values are even being created to be – this is not to villainize anybody – it’s simply a fact that our values begin to form before we’re even conscious of it. That’s why as adults, we must take the time to revisit and redefine our values in our own right.
It’s also important to regularly check in with your values, especially before you begin setting new goals to pursue. While our core life’s values often don’t change too often, we may want to add a new value to nourish and pursue.
Take a moment to deeply ground yourself in these values. You can do so by pulling out your journal and taking some time to gain that personal clarity.
Step 2: Consider What You Want To Call In
Take a moment to really envision yourself in the period ahead and consider: what do you want to call in for yourself during this time? What would you like to attract? What would you like more of in your life?
This can be a moment you simply allow yourself to braindump and explore what is on your mind before trying to nail down a definitive intention or goal yet.
An invitation here is to take this as a moment of deep meditation, prayer or contemplation (whatever most resonates with you and your own faith) – to allow your mind to reach a level of stillness that allows for your own thoughts to rise up, rather than those of external influence.
Step 3: Define The Goal
Now that you’ve taken time to journal and brainstorm on some of what you’d like to call in for the year (or period) ahead, it’s time to narrow things down.
Take a blank sheet of paper (in your journal, as a sheet of loose leaf, or even using a digital document) and create 2 columns. On the left, write down the values you defined in Step 1. Study each value again as you write them down, grounding yourself in your meaning of each.
In the righthand column, begin to align the specific goals and dreams you outlined in Step 2 alongside the value that you believe most aligns for you (in the lefthand column). Trust your intuitive gut instinct here – it only needs to make sense to you.
What is your intuition telling you to pursue? Which of these ideas will allow you to emerge closest to your value-aligned life?
Step 4: Create A Support Plan For Yourself
Setting goals and intentions are all well and good, but it’s incredibly difficult to execute that goal and move towards your dreams when you don’t have a clear roadmap and plan for yourself in terms of:
- How you will actually meet the goal (the daily steps you’ll be taking)
- What you need in terms of support to allow you to do that confidently
- Having a plan for what you’re going to do when you’re not feeling inspired towards moving towards your goals
Don’t skip this step, my friend – having a plan is essential to actually make your dreams and goals happen.
Take the time to journal on each of these 3 questions at the least, as you set your intentions for yourself for the period ahead.
Step 5: Find An Accountability Buddy
Hear me loud and clear, my love… It’s really hard to actually create sustaining change without loving accountability. Why? First – there’s something so powerful about voicing your goal or intention out loud! Consider your life already – how much more motivating is it to work towards something once you’ve promised someone else that you will do it? What if we could pursue what we most desire by declaring it powerfully to a witness?
Second, having an accountability partner makes it easier for you to hold on to your goal during your more challenging moments. Never discount the power of having someone to hold you to your vision when you struggle to maintain it.
Your accountability buddy could be a coach or therapist, or even a friend, colleague, sibling, or family member. Just ensure it’s someone who will hold you radically accountable to your vision and goal when you are struggling the most.
If you’re looking for a type of radical accountability (that is also filled with so much intention and love) to hold space, support you and guide you in your own pursuit of your soul-aligned goals, I’d love to hold space for you.
There’s a true internal, magical shift when you declare your goal or intention for yourself and your life to a loving, safe witness.
– Lauren Osselton
Continue Developing Your Resilient Mindset + Journal Through The Year Ahead…
Journaling is a beautiful tool and technique for creating sustained habit changes, developing a resilient mindset and providing yourself with gentle self-care. In this free guide, you can get started on your own emotional resilience journaling journey with 70 guided journaling prompts.
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