… And Why Growth Doesn’t Always Feel Positive
One of the things that doesn’t work for myself+ my clients when it comes to ‘growth mindset’ is that a lot of it emphasizes staying positive and always believing in yourself. And yes, in theory, I agree in always believing in ourselves and being our own greatest cheerleader. But it’s unfair and unrealistic to expect ourselves to feel positive and inspired all the time. It’s unfair and unrealistic to expect ourselves to be at 100% all the time.
Most of what you read about ‘growth mindset’ is all about staying positive, “pushing through,” and believing in yourself. But REAL growth often feels confusing and unclear. REAL growth often involves outgrowing things that no longer fit or serve you and feeling a sense of discomfort at not necessarily having all the answers.
This post is all about the REAL growth mindset… the messy, quiet and non-linear way that actual growth happens.
What We Think Growth Looks Like Vs. How It Actually Feels
We often think that ‘growth’ always looks like feeling an abundance of motivation, clarity in our goals, making progress, forward momentum and confidence. But real growth doesn’t necessarily look or feel this way!
Real, true growth often feels like…
- Not knowing what is next for you
- Feeling a lack of clarity or feeling confused
- Letting go of things and identities that no longer serve you
- Feeling temporarily ‘off’ or disconnected
- Questioning the things that used to feel certain for you
Why These Feelings + Signs Matter
Don’t bypass this stage or these feelings! They can be signs of actual growth… the kind that can often be uncomfortable and ‘not as pretty’ but is actually so impactful. Real growth doesn’t always look or feel good – it can be messy. Growth requires space, not just effort. It requires time for you to actually integrate and learn lessons along the way. It requires breaking down limiting beliefs and giving yourself permission to rest before you need it.
Growth often involves change, which is difficult for many people because it challenges our internal status quo and ‘normal’, and what our brains feel is ‘safe’ and comfortable. Have deep patience and empathy with yourself if you find that growth feels tough … this is natural and you are resilient!
A More Real Growth Mindset
A more honest ‘growth mindset’ involves this element of resilience… this self-belief that you will always be okay. A resilience mindset is an ultimate belief and trust that you can handle whatever comes your way. It’s also about trusting the process and letting things evolve with time rather than forcing outcomes. Of knowing when to pause rather than to push. It’s about trusting yourself enough not to rush clarity.
You’ve Got This
You may be growing more than you even know because it doesn’t look or feel like what you think it should. This is your reminder that growth sometimes feels sticky and hard. Sometimes it involves letting things fall away. But at the end of the day, you are resilient… you’ve got this.
Journal To Cultivate Your Growth Mindset and Clarity
Journaling is one of my favourite ways to explore how I feel about things, work on my growth mindset, and develop deep clarity. In this free guide, I share my fave journaling tips alongside 70 guided prompts.
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